Today, we have no formal "rules" for mourning or grief. One reason for this, perhaps, is that as a society we are more removed from the day-to-day business of dying. In the Victorian world, death was far more present; there's a reason why Victorian magazines are filled with stories and poetry about dying children and dying wives. Mourning, in the Victorian era, was a well-defined "period" that a bereaved person observed - a process that included rules about what one must wear, what social engagements one could participate in (and when), and much more. But this period of mourning also served to help those around the bereaved person respond appropriately. Today, we're not always sure how to "behave" around a grieving person; the mourning period in Victorian society helped ensure that one's grief was recognized and respected by others.

The Habiliments of Grief, from a Commercial Point of View (Godey's, 1863)

Mourning Attire, by S.F.A. Caulfeild (Girl's Own Paper, 1881)

Some of the history of mourning attire, what is appropriate, and how to provide for others.

Etiquette of Mourning (Collier's Cyclopedia, 1882)

When should one wear black for mourning? For how long? How does one observe mourning for different degrees of relationships? This article explains exactly what to wear during one's period of grief.

The Habits of Polite Society, by S.F.A. Caulfeild (Girl's Own Paper, 1882)

Among other topics, this article covers the etiquette of mourning and mourning attire.

Flowers at Funerals, by H.H. Battles (Ladies' Home Journal, 1892)

The Social Duty of Woman: A Sympathy Call (Cassell's Family Magazine, 1894)

On Sympathy (Girl's Own Paper, 1895)

How to behave toward those in mourning.

Changing Our Mourning Customs (Ladies Home Journal, 1896)

On moving away from making a great show of mourning.