Page 53 - Poetry-Country

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On Christmas morn that aged man his stocking full he found,
With plenty more of other things pinned up and nailed around.
He wiped his specs five hundred times, his laughter turned to screaming,
On opening such queer packages; he thought he must be dreaming.

A bustle, hair-pins, bracelets four, gold garters, eighteen veils,
A gross of gloves, nine bonnets gay, a case to shine the nails,
Six dresses, stylish, flowing trains, two muffs, and seal-skin sack,
Two parasols, a dozen fans, and slippers white and black.

Four pairs of corsets—oh, what shape!—long hose of open stitching,
Three diamond rings, two ruby rings, and curls of hair bewitching.,
Two sets of bangles, ear-rings eight, perfumes a gross or more,
Ten pounds of candy, poodle-dog, and other things a score.

The old man wiped his specs again. Said he: “ ‘Tis mighty queer
That I should get such funny things, and I so near my bier.
I am afraid—I am afraid—I’m very sure, this year,
That Santa Claus’s been getting drunk on whisky or on beer.”
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On Christmas morn the lassie gay her stocking full she found,
With plenty more of curious things pinned up and nailed around.
She wiped her eyes five hundred times; she thought she must be
dreaming,
Each package was so very queer; at last she fell to screaming.

One pair of spectacles of gold, two goggles, gray and blue,
A golden box, three pounds of snuff, six pipes all bright and new,
Five pairs of socks of woolen blue, three night-caps, foot-bath too,
Suspenders four, two satin stocks, hair-dye of blackest hue,

Pajamas two, three morning-gowns, six razors sharp and bright,
With brush and cup and shaving cream, one crutch both strong and light,
Six canes, a suit of nice warm clothes just suited for a dandy,
A prayer-book with the largest type, one bottle of old brandy.

The lassie wiped her eyes again. Said she: “ ‘Tis mighty queer
That I should get such funny things, and in my sixteenth year.
I am afraid that Santa Claus has got a wee bit crazy,
To leave for me such useless things, and I a little daisy.
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