Page 71 - Poetry-Whimsy

In a romantic, historical bower,
By fashion frequented, and known as “the Tower.”

His son, whom Richard regarded askance,
Returned with his bride and his mother from France.
The trio were captured in Tewkesbury’s hollows,
And Richard disposed of the family as follows:
The son, as a matter of course, he stabbed;
Paused to marry the bride, then jabbed
A hole in the father, and jailed the mother;
The rest he forgave—as there was no other!

Just at this moment it came to his ears
That Clarence, his brother, drank hard for his years;
And Richard determined at once to insure
A homeopathic but permanent cure;
So, stifling natural brotherly qualms, he
Drowned the young duke in a hogshead of malmsey.

Edward the Fifth, with his little brother
(Sons, by Edward the Fourth, of their mother),
Started for town to take up the crown
That Edward the Fourth had just laid down.
Richard and Buckingham, to their rapture,
Safely effected the princes’ capture—
Their mother, indeed, was the only objector.
Richard, however, now lord protector,
Swore to father ‘em, swore to mother ‘em,
Hired a fellow named Tyrrel to smother ‘em;
Heard of their death with the utmost delight,
Ascended the throne, made Tyrrel a knight;
Sent for the princes’ mother, kissed her,
Poisoned his wife and proposed for their sister.

Buckingham, always the king’s right hand
(Whose services Richard retained at command
To compass whatever unusual villainy
Called for a criminal expert to kill any
Relatives, enemies, foes, or friends—
In short, to subserve the good king’s ends),
Remembering, foolishly, quite a lot
Of things that the king would have wished forgot,

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