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G r av e y ar d H u m o r | 113
Bland, passionate, and deeply religious:
Also she painted in water-colours,
And sent several pictures to the Exhibition.
She was first cousin to Lady Jones.
And of such is the kingdom of heaven.
343. On a Quack:—
I was a Quack, and there are men who say
That in my time I physicked men away,
And that at length I by myself was slain,
By my own doings ta’en to relieve my pain.
The truth is, being troubled with a cough,
I, like a fool, consulted Dr. Gough,
Who physicked to death at his own will,
Because he’s licensed by the State to kill.
Had I but wisely taken my own physic
I never should have died of cold and ‘tisick.
So all be warned, and when you catch a cold
Go to my son, by whom my medicine’s sold.
344. On a Teetotaller. Taken from the European Magazine of
March, 1796:—
Here lies Ned Rand, who on a sudden,
Left off roast beef for hasty pudding;
Forsook old stingo, mild, and stale,
And every drink for Adam’s ale;
Till flesh and blood, reduced to batter,
Consisting of mere flour and water,
Which, wanting salt to keep out must,
And heat to bake it to a crust,
Mouldered and crumbled into dust.
345. From Dortmund Cemetery, Westphalia:—