Page 33 - Poetry-Animals

To Our Editor

I am a cat: Miss Jetty Vogel’s cat;
What think you, gentle editor, of that?
With fox-like tail, and tufted paw and ear;
With mane and ruff when wintry days are here.
A Persian cat of somewhat mixed descent;
Argent and azure in my ‘scutcheon blent.
Argent my coat, my optics azure are;
Sure charms like these condone the adverse bar!
Azure mine eyes; at least, one eye is blue,
The other greenish-yallery in hue.
But what of that? Two blue eyes they aver
Make pussies deaf when linked with snowy fur.
And now each mouse beneath the floor I hear,
Each gentle epithet delights mine ear;
And when each month the G.O.P. is read,
With joy I hear the editor hath said
That Persian cats require the tenderest care,
With sympathy, soft bed, and dainty fare.
I purr approval; nor can I complain
Of aught shortcoming in domestic reign.
For twice five years the household joy and pride,
My fads respected and my wants supplied.
Warmed is my saucer, lest the milk be chill,
Fish, poultry, veal, my little platter fill.
My sole complaint when on Bank Holiday
With drum and fife the band pursues its way;
Distraught with fear, I up the chimney fly,
Emerging, what a sorry wretch am I,
Till, rubbed with flour, my coat regains its hue—
This wrinkle owe we, gentle sir, to you.
I fain would come and visit you in town,
At Paternoster Row to light me down,
But cannot, for my too majestic weight
Exceeds the parcel post’s extended rate;
So send three hairs, plucked to suggest the rest,
Where beats my heart within my snowy breast.

— Jetty Vogel (Girl’s Own Paper, 1887)

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