Page 12 - English

as to grammar, construction, spelling, and all; and the result is this
literary curiosity.
The contents of the book consist mainly of answers given by the
boys and girls to questions, said answers being given sometimes
verbally, sometimes in writing. The subjects touched upon are fifteen
in number: I. Etymology; II. Grammar; III. Mathematics; IV.
Geography; V. “Original”; VI. Analysis; VII. History; VIII.
“Intellectual”; IX. Philosophy; X. Physiology; XI. Astronomy; XII.
Politics; XIII. Music; XIV. Oratory; XV. Metaphysics.
You perceive that the poor little young idea has taken a shot at a
good many kinds of game in the course of the book. Now as to
results. Here are some quaint definitions of words. It will be noticed
that in all of these instances the sound of the word, or the look of it
on paper, has misled the child:

Aborigines, a system of mountains.
Alias, a good man in the Bible.
Amenable, anything that is mean.
Assiduity, state of being an acid.
Auriferous, pertaining to an orifice.
Ammonia, the food of the gods.
Capillary, a little caterpillar.
Corniferous, rocks in which fossil corn is found.
Emolument, a headstone to a grave.
Equestrian, one who asks questions.
Eucharist, one who plays euchre.
Franchise, anything belonging to the French.
Idolater, a very idol person.
Ipecac, a man who likes a good dinner.
Irrigate, to make fun of.
Mendacious, what can be mended.
Mercenary, one who feels for another
Parasite, a kind of umbrella.
Parasite, the murder of an infant.
Publican, a man who does his prayers in public.
Tenacious, ten acres of land.

Here is one where the phrase “publicans and sinners” has got
mixed up in the child’s mind with politics, and the result is a
definition which takes one in a sudden and unexpected way:

Republican, a sinner mentioned in the Bible.

10