Page 44 - Graveyard

42 | G r av e y ar d H u m o r

that pious wish so touchingly expressed in the epitaph written by himself
over his eldest son:—

Vale,
Dulcissime, dilectissime, desideratissime,
Hic, posthac Pater ac Mater
Requiescamus Tecum
Usque ad Tuham.

77. On a Spendthrift:—

Stop, passenger, for here is laid
One who the debt of nature paid.
This is not strange, the reader cries,
We all know here a dead man lies.
You’re right; but stop, I’ll tell you more:
He never paid a debt before;
And now he’s gone, I’ll further say
He never will another pay.

78. From Horsleydown Church, Cumberland.

The following is remarkable for its outspokenness:—

Here lie the bodies of Thomas Bond, and Mary his wife. She was
temperate, chaste, and charitable, but she was proud, peevish, and
passionate. She was an affectionate wife and tender mother, but her
husband and child, whom she loved, seldom saw her countenance
without a disgusting frown—while she received visitors whom she
despised with an enduring smile. Her behaviour was discreet towards
strangers, but imprudent in her family. Abroad her conduct was
influenced by good breeding, but at home by ill-temper.

And so the epitaph runs on to a considerable length, acknowledging the
good qualities of the poor woman, but killing each by setting against it
some peculiarly remarkable trait. We confess that our feeling is quite