Page 79 - Graveyard

G r av e y ar d H u m o r | 77

“This, of course,” continues the reviewer (like Gay’s heedless lines) “is
a mere joke. Prior’s lines, ‘For my own Tombstone,’ are in better taste:—

“ ‘To me ‘twas giv’n to die; to thee ‘tis giv’n
To live. Alas! one moment sets us ev’n.
Mark, how impartial is the Will of Heav’n!’ ”

According to Chambers’ Cyclopoedia of Literature, the following are the
exact lines that were written by Prior:—

Nobles and heralds, by your leave,
Here lies what once was Matthew Prior,
The son of Adam and of Eve;
Can Stuart or Nassau claim higher?

210. On Thomas Kemp, who was hanged for sheep-stealing:—

Here lies the body of Thomas Kemp,
Who lived by wool and died by hemp;
There’s nothing would suffice this glutton,
But with the fleece to steal the mutton;
Had he but worked and lived uprighter,
He’d ne’er been hung for a sheep-biter.

211. From the Churchyard of Creltow, Salop:—

On a Thursday she was born,
On a Thursday made a bride,
On a Thursday put to bed,
On a Thursday broke her leg, and
On a Thursday died.

In reading this epitaph I am reminded of an old superstition about Friday
being an unlucky day, and of a certain story told about a certain ship called
Friday, built by a man who entertained no such foolish notions. I do not give the
story, but now write an epitaph, which may be taken as strictly correct.